When was the hardest time of your life? The time when you felt like your now would be forever (and that wasn't a pleasant thought)? Do you still feel the way you did back then? I'm praying that the answer to that last question is 'no.'
I've sure we've all had those moments when it feels like the hard-knock life. Life has been hard for me lately, and I have begun to feel hopeless in a way. I've prayed and prayed, but haven't felt like I've gotten any peace or inspiration. So, I went back and read a post I wrote at I time when I did feel that inspiration. Over two years ago, I posted about how taking a break from despair was all I could manage. I was too depressed to have hope. It was too hard. I mentioned that I wasn't ready to hope for a career as a teacher or for a healthy relationship. I wasn't ready to hope for those things because, in the moment, it seemed like they never would happen. Like they never could happen.
Well...Hindsight is a beautiful gift and looking back, I realize that the despair I felt was so deep and never-ending, was only but a moment in my life. It came and went in the blink of an eye.
Two years after losing hope of ever becoming a teacher, I can say that I taught at a middle school. It was different than what I was struggling to hope for. I wasn't a full-time, certified teacher. I worked part-time, taught two classes a day, and worked under a certified teacher. But I had my own classroom, students, and was able to manage it in my own way. I WAS A TEACHER! Something that I didn't believe could happen because I was feeling so hopeless in a moment.
Two years after losing hope of ever being in a healthy relationship, I can say that I have been happily married for one year, nine months, one week, and one day. Not only am I in a healthy relationship, but I have been blessed with a wonderful daughter as well. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT COULD HAPPEN! I had wanted a family, but I didn't dare hope for one back then. I had been through too much rejection and heartbreak, or so I felt at the time. In hindsight, the despair I was feeling back then was not the eternity that I believed it to be in the moment.
I don't share these things to boast of my blessings, for I do feel truly blessed. Rather, I share these things as an example of how hindsight can help us have hope. Your now is not your forever. Just like my then is not my present. It might feel like whatever you're going through will never end. It might be challenging to believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but there is. I can't see the light at the end of my tunnel right now, but I know it's there because I've been through it before.
Try reflecting on how far you have come. Think of things you never thought would happen, but have. Even if things don't turn out the way we expect, they always turn out. And on the days when having hope seems just too hard, take a break from despair. Embrace the good moments and let the good moments embrace you. Say a prayer and find hope in hindsight.
